Monday, February 05, 2007

Teeth are Evil

I've decided that teeth are evil.

Well, at least the things that get stuck between them.

The other day I found my hat lodged between my rear molars, which wouldn't have been so bad except someone was wearing it. I'd ground them down to little more than a red paste with my dental floss. I had to bury the remains in my backyard, next to the ashes of long exorcised sock puppet writers. I never found out just who was wearing my hat, it may have been this elephant.

When I was young I coughed up an elephant, it wasn't very big, not nearly as big as this fellow, but it was affectionate, and we became fast friends. It had a fondness for hats as well. It ended tragically, but that tends to be the way with things you cough up.

If anyone is missing a hat loving elephant let me know, or, better yet, don't. It's probably for the best that we let this one lie.

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